2011 The MTV Movie Awards

2011 The MTV Movie Awards Emma Watson

2011 The MTV Movie Awards Robert Pattison

2011 The MTV Movie Awards Selena Gomes

2011 The MTV Movie Awards Emma Stone

2011 The MTV Movie Awards Kristen Stewart

2011 The MTV Movie Awards Aston Kutcher And Nicki Minaj

2011 The MTV Movie Awards Kristen Stewart

2011 The MTV Movie Awards Cameron Diaz And Jason Segel

2011 The MTV Movie Awards Taylor Lautner

2011 The MTV Movie Awards Justin Bieber

While last year’s show at least had the decency to regale us with Katy Perry and Christina Aguilera’s breasts as Twilight anti-climactically won everything, this year’s MTV Movie Awards decided to be a lackluster affair with Twilight still anti-climactically winning everything alongside nothing more than fully-covered Blake Lively cleavage and Emma Watson’s niche-hotness. (Read: Pedophiles. Pedophiles are that niche.) The only interesting thing they did is let Justin Bieber compete in a few categories, so it wasn’t a total lock for Twilight. And I say interesting if you’re 12 and can’t decide whether to decorate your bedroom with the Sparkle Cock or Maple Christ because we’re fucked as a society.

Best Male Performance: Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Best Villain: Tom Felton, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Best Jaw Dropping Moment: Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber: Never Say Never
Biggest Badass Star: Chloë Mortez, Kick-Ass
Best Breakout Star: Chloë Mortez, Kick-Ass
Best Fight: Robert Pattinson vs. Xavier Samuel and Bryce Dallas Howard, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Best Kiss Winner Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Best Line From a Movie: “I want to get chocolate wasted!” – Alexys Nycole Sanchez, Grown Ups
Best Scared-As-Sh*t Performance: Ellen Page, Inception
Best Female Performance: Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Best Comedic Performance: Emma Stone, Easy A
Best Movie Winner: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse