2011 The Spike Guys Choice Awards

2011 The Spike Guys Choice Awards Minka Kelly

2011 The Spike Guys Choice Awards Mark Wahlberg

2011 The Spike Guys Choice Awards Keith Richard

2011 The Spike Guys Choice Awards Jim Carrey

2011 The Spike Guys Choice Awards Danny McBride

2011 The Spike Guys Choice Awards Dwayne Johnson

2011 The Spike Guys Choice Awards Erin Heatherton

2011 The Spike Guys Choice Awards Mila Kunis

2011 The Spike Guys Choice Awards Rosie Huntington Whiteley

2011 The Spike Guys Choice Awards Ben Affleck

While the MTV Movie Awards settled with Leighton Meester and didn’t even bother to force Mila Kunis to walk the red carpet, (So, she was in Black Swan. Her back still arches.), The Spike Guys Choice Awards at least had the balls to, and went straight for the actual Minka Kelly as opposed to her inferior store-brand counterpart. Not to mention, Twilight wasn’t up for a goddamn thing, although there was a category called “Most Manticipated Movie.” If this red carpet gallery wasn’t so sexy, I’d almost have to call that a draw. In fact, I still might. “Manticipated?” Jesus. Why would anyone ever say that outside of gay porn? And even then, there’s probably a naked fireman reading this right now going, “C’mon!”

Guy of the Year: Mark Wahlberg
Brass Balls: Keith Richards
Decade of Hotness: Jennifer Aniston
Troops Choice: Ben Affleck
Funniest M.F.: Jim Carrey
Guy Movie Hall of Fame: Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Most Manticipated Movie: Cowboys & Aliens
Guy Movie of the Year: The Fighter
Biggest Ass Kicker: Dwayne Johnson
Most Dangerous Man: Jon Jones
Holy Grail of Hot: Mila Kunis
Unstoppable Jock: Aaron Rodgers
Our New Girlfriend: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
Top Fantasy Leaguer: Chris Paul
Comedy MVP: Danny McBride
Hot and Funny: Sofia Vergara
Outstanding Literary Achievement: Keith Richards (Life)
Rookie of the Year: Blake Griffin